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[23 Apr 2008|07:05pm] needs tooo sooo be used more 1 comment|post comment

[28 Nov 2006|12:00am] To watch you move around on past film hurts; you laugh, flip me off and show me a little leg. You even spoke; said my name and I try to take it all in. Remember it all so you never disappear. You were breathing, breathing the same air as me. I hate that I am the only one that can now breathe for both of us. I hate that I am suppose to celebrate life; my world is never going to be a big party anymore. How can I truly be happy when you are not here to share it with me? I am not supposed to eat the cake all alone. Who is going to help me decide what to wish for in life? I feel like I am death and everything I love is taken away. I would wish for you to be here.. but that wish would never be granted. I don't want to wait to see you. I am selfish and I want you here..I don't care that it was "your time to go"... Fuck that load of bullshit. If I ever get to spend time with Him alone....so help me god...I am going straight to hell. (Josh does his best but there is a bond that friends have that doesn't match any other relationship out there. Patricia helps me sooo much but it was suppose to be us till the end; old and crazy. If she is taken away from me then...I will never make any new friends and I will have to lock Josh up somewhere so he wouldn't be next.) I feel like I am doing nothing to help keep you alive. You did so much and all I did was sit on my ass throughout life. You had stories to tell and I was just the listener. If I could write another ending for you it would be peaceful. Your son would get memories of you and the world would get to enjoy you longer. I should be tapped out, empty of any tears but they still flow. Slowly and when no one is looking; like now. post comment

[24 Aug 2006|08:03am] my father is back to his old ways...he has once again taken my grandfathers truck and has been gone for two days. the sad thing is that he is still in the area...doing what he knows best...smoking crack...i hate my father...he causes soo much pain for everyone. post comment

[20 Jun 2006|10:12pm] plaques post comment

[24 Mar 2006|03:47pm] post comment

[24 Mar 2006|03:46pm] i enjoy having coffee at 1am post comment

[03 Mar 2006|11:13pm] ( I love face paint ) post comment

[16 Feb 2006|11:49am] i told her i would get it one day, even though she wasn't here to see that day come...it still came 3 comments|post comment

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